


The Tally

by islacruces



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Childhood, Family Bonding, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 10:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21408982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/islacruces/pseuds/islacruces
Summary: One shot.Back in the day, when times were simpler... Han takes six-year-old Ben on a trip to Coruscant aboard the Falcon. Mostly fluff.
Relationships: Han Solo & Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	The Tally

** _11 ABY_ **  
** _Corellian YT-1300f Light Freighter Millennium Falcon_ **  
** _En route to Coruscant, Core Worlds_ **

About four parsecs in, Han noticed the kid on the co-pilot's seat snoring softly. He glanced at the drooping head, the unruly black locks falling over the small face, and couldn't resist the smile that spread across his lips.

He had insisted that Ben come along for the trip. Ben himself wasn't particularly enticed by the prospect of accompanying his father on a mission to broker investments for his next business venture. Then again, what kid would be? On the other hand, he was completely won over by the prospect of visiting the former galactic capital, the hallowed ground upon which so much history had been made.

Han wondered why his kid had to be so strange. Most children asked for X-Wing pilot dolls or miniaturized toy speeders on their fifth birthday. Not holo-encyclopedias or _paper_. With his connections all over the galaxy, Han knew he could easily get his hands on this rarity from ancient times. But he was hard at work getting racing funds, and the holo-encyclopedia was a far easier gift to obtain. In any case, Ben had enjoyed his birthday the year before.

He had a far less enjoyable experience on his sixth just a few days ago. Leia had been on Hosnian Prime for a month now, overseeing some political matters Han didn't particularly care for. They had a simple dinner, with Leia watching them via hologram. Han had tried to bake a Corellian air cake, something he had never done nor had ever imagined he would ever do in his entire life. He had enlisted Ben's nanny droid T-2LC for assistance, but Elsie was even worse, so Han decided to take matters into his own hands. His wife had laughed uncontrollably when Ben said the cake smelled like a burnt hyperdrive generator. In the end, Han resorted to veg-meat rations he kept on the _Falcon_. Ben didn't complain.

Ben had never asked for much. The holo-encyclopedia was the most costly thing they had ever given him, and even then it wasn't that big of an expense. What Ben wanted most often was his family's companionship. Han only ever truly understood this after several years.

His son had made friends with his classmates at the school in Hanna City, but he was never quite as close to them as he was with Leia. On days when his friends would invite him over to play, he would only agree if neither of his parents were at home. Han could still clearly remember the day Ben suddenly decided not to join his class field trip when Chewbacca showed up on their doorstep for a surprise visit. Chewie was as good as family in Han's eyes. It didn't matter in the least that they weren't biologically related. Ben had cried at the sight of his Wookiee uncle and nearly tripped as he ran to meet him on the launch pad.

Everytime Han would go off on a short trip away from Chandrila, Ben would run after him and pull at his jacket until he agreed to bring him along. Unlike Leia, who would be gone for months at a time for long-term projects, Han's work was contractual and usually only lasted a few weeks at most.

It had been easier for Leia to bring Ben along when he wasn't yet in school, but things had to change once he turned four. Han knew practically nothing about education, having been self-made since he was a kid, so he left the decision-making to Leia. She chose the school in Hanna City. She wanted as peaceful an environment as possible for their son, and Chandrila was just the right place. The planet was civilized, but not overpopulated like Coruscant. There were fields to play in and the sea to swim in, and the climate was cool and mild. It was certainly no Tatooine or that garbage dump of a planet called Jakku. And above all else, its term as the rotating republic capital would soon end. Leia knew all the attention from the media would be harmful to Ben, enough had already been said about him the moment he was born. Once the capital would be moved again, the reporters at their front door would be gone.

Ben was the only permanent resident of Chandrila in their family. Sitting on his little chair on the balcony, staring out into the horizon, waiting for his mother's cruiser or his father's freighter to return. That was his life. Han wondered if his son kept a tally of the days they were gone.

He wanted to make up for the disastrous birthday cake, so he told Ben he would be bringing him along to Coruscant. The kid was thrilled. Han informed his headmistress that Ben had come down with the flu and couldn't come to school. Ben was perfectly healthy, but he didn't care for today's subjects. His favorite Galactic History wouldn't be until tomorrow. And so early that morning, father and son boarded the _Falcon_.

Han let him pilot during takeoff, which Leia would have been livid about if she knew. But his son already knew the basics like the back of his hand, and he was undeniably a natural. He had, after all, Han Solo for a father. Han tried to play it cool, but felt his heart swell with pride at how smooth their ascent to the exosphere was. One day, Ben would surpass him. He had no Force abilities to speak of, unlike his wife and son, but he had a smuggler's gut instinct. And his instinct told him so.

He even let him make the jump to hyperspace. He hadn't yet taught him how to plot out routes using mathematical calculations, but Ben had already learned the controls. Their route today would be the Perlemian Trade Route, the busiest hyperlane in the galaxy, and they would be traveling in a straight line. It didn't require any math, so Han let him have at it. The kid did look like he was having fun.

Ben was getting used to the jumps. Han remembered the first time he let his son try one himself: he was four, and he threw up. This time, he did just fine. Once they entered hyperspace, Han asked to switch seats. He congratulated the kid on a job well done and told him to rest. Soon, Ben dozed off.

He pondered when he would be able to give Ben his next lesson on hyperspace route calculations. His schedule was against him, and so was Ben's indifference to math. He had average grades in the subject at school, nothing to write home about. Han secretly hoped he would bump up his math grades to match his stellar performance in history. It was vital knowledge for a pilot, a skill that could save someone's neck in case of mass shadows that could suck out a ship from hyperspace. It was true that practically every route in the known regions of the galaxy had already been plotted out in that day and age, but Han owed his life to all the emergency calculations he had ever needed to make in that cockpit... Han laughed at himself. Caring about his son's grades? He was beginning to act like the father he never realized he could be.

Ben stirred beside him.

"Hey, kid."

"Are we there yet?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

"You've only been asleep for an hour. 16 more parsecs."

Ben made a small nod, unfastened his seatbelt and left the cockpit. He came back a few minutes later with his holo-encyclopedia.

"What, you brought that thing?" Han asked, his brow furrowed.

It was slightly larger than a holopad. Ben had to hold it with both hands.

"I want to read about Coruscant," his son replied plainly.

"Can you understand everything it says?"

"No. Some words are too difficult."

Ben returned his attention to the holo-encyclopedia. A hologram of Coruscant emerged from the pad. Ben clicked on one of the buttons.

A voice began, "_Coruscant, the former capital of the galaxy, is located at coordinates 0-0-0 in the Core Worlds region. It has one sun and four moons. Each day on Coruscant is 24 hours and each year is 365 days. The planet has a Type 1 breathable atmosphere. It is an ecumenopolis with a population of -_ "

Ben paused the recording and began pressing more buttons.

Another voice spoke. "_Ecumenopolis. A planet-wide city._"

"Ecumenopolis," Ben whispered. He repeated the word a few more times before going back to the recording.

It wasn't long before the sound of the voice faded into the background to Han's ears, along with the rattle of the ship as it hurtled through hyperspace. He stood up and rested his hand atop Ben's head. His son looked up.

"Want something to eat?" he asked.

Ben nodded and promptly went back to the hologram.

As Han prepared their lunch in the galley, he wondered if he would ever find common ground with his son besides flying. He couldn't seem to find any particular topics of interest to both of them. He couldn't be of any use to Ben when it came to his Force abilities either, having none to begin with.

Leia had assured him that his lack of powers was no reason for a lack of a bond. Ben came from his flesh and blood. Yet Han often felt like a stranger to him. Both he and Leia were loud and forward, Ben was quieter and more withdrawn. He frowned more than he smiled. He cried easily. The one thing Han believed he inherited from them both was his ferocious temper. And as though to prove a point that both of his parents had it, Ben's was twice as bad.

"Dad! Why are you taking so long?" his son called sharply from the cockpit, his voice echoing across the walls.

There it was, or at least a taste of it. Han smirked.

"Almost done," he called back. "Come over here, I don't want crumbs all over the dash!"

After their meal, they played two rounds of holochess. Ben lost both. Han was grateful the set was holographic, so that Ben couldn't tip the board over in frustration. He announced grumpily that he would return to his holo-encyclopedia instead and marched off to the cockpit. Han tried not to chuckle as he watched him storm off. After a nap and a quick inspection around the holds and the engineering section, he returned to the cockpit when he heard the alarm for their arrival.

"It's our stop," he said as he came in.

Ben's eyes lit up. He switched off the holo-encyclopedia.

"Can I do the landing?" he asked.

Han smiled. "Not this time. There's a major checkpoint on the way in and I don't want to spend the night in jail. The galaxy is a little tamer nowadays, thanks to your mother and her friends."

Ben pursed his lips.

"Besides," continued Han, ruffling his son's hair, "she doesn't even know you came with me. Oh, and another thing." He had only just remembered. He rummaged through his vest pocket and pulled out a holographic ID card. It had Leia's picture on it and the words "New Republic Senate Clearance Pass" across the top. He held it out to Ben.

"She doesn't know about this either," he explained. "Thinks she left it at home. Let's keep it that way. Okay, kid? Not a word!"

Ben took the card and beamed at him. Han noticed the gleam in his eyes, a sight he rarely ever saw.

"Thanks, Dad!"

"Sure," he replied as he sat down and fastened his seatbelt. "That gives you clearance to government property, including the entire Library of the Republic. You might want to check out the Old Republic Archives there. We'll park her in the public hangar and take an airbus from there. I'll pick you up when I'm done. Meet me at the main entrance at around 1700. Here." He fished in his pocket again and handed Ben some Republic credits.

"If you want to buy snacks," he explained.

"Not a word?" Ben repeated.

"Not one. She'll find out someone used that pass on Coruscant, and I'll pretend it was me."

"But you never go to the library."

"Hey, watch it."

Ben laughed.

They emerged from hyperspace, Coruscant right before them. As they descended into its atmosphere, Ben tore off his seatbelt and stood on the co-pilot's seat.

"Careful there!" Han warned.

In response, Ben reached up and held onto the ceiling as though it would help him any. The gold dice hanging there fell in the process. Han tsked, frowning up at him.

"Sorry," Ben said absently, but he was now too busy taking in the city skyline to care. He spotted the spires of the former Imperial Palace, now a burnt shell. His eyes widened at the sight. And in the distance, there was the old Galactic Senate building, its hulking form looming over the Federal District.

Destroyed buildings, places likely haunted by famous ghosts. That was right up Ben's alley. Han shook his head as he glanced up at the kid's excited face.

After he dropped off his son at the library, he descended to the first level of Coruscant's underbelly. He deliberately forgot to mention to Leia that this was where he would get some funds for his upcoming race. Han tried to make himself feel less guilty by believing that his wife knew better than to think he would actually grow out of his less than legal practices. As he walked to meet his investors, he wondered what he would get a verbal beating for when his wife returned: these funds, her swiped ID card, Ben's "flu," or that he let Ben pilot the _Falcon_ during takeoff _and_ the jump. He imagined that she would just ignore the first two at that point.

They departed from Coruscant just before dusk, Han's bag full of credits and Ben's brain trying to cram in all the information he had just obtained from the library.

Han knew that he and Ben wouldn't share another day like that in a while. For a brief moment, he impulsively asked himself if trying for another child with Leia would be good for Ben. He could use a companion, a constant one. Neither he nor Leia could offer to be that.

He just as quickly dismissed the idea. Another child would have been too much work, and they could hardly take care of Ben anyway, given their current situation. And what if the next child were Force-sensitive, just like its older brother? Another child he could never have a connection with. Another child he could never truly help -

Han told himself not to be ridiculous. Ben was a harmless kid. Sure, there was that incident the previous year at the playground, and Han was sure that wouldn't be the last. But the boy was sweet, in his own quiet way. And even if he did possess that temper, he had never once lashed out at another person; he would usually just abuse his bedroom wall by hurling some object at it.

Han sighed heavily. He was worried in a way that he couldn't understand, and yet he wanted to laugh at himself for doing so. It was nothing. He didn't have the Force sensitivity Leia possessed to know if his feelings were true. He had a bad feeling about this, a truly bad feeling. But of what he could see now in his son, he could find no concrete reason why.

After making the jump to hyperspace, he left the cockpit. Ben was in the main hold, lying in the alcove with his feet propped up against the wall. He had his hands folded over his chest. His eyes were wide open, staring not at the ceiling but beyond it.

"You okay, kid?" his father asked.

Ben made a small grunt in response, not taking his eyes off the ceiling.

Han sat on the edge of the alcove beside him.

It was then that Ben looked at him.

"Thanks for letting me come with you, Dad."

"Sure thing," Han replied, making a lopsided smile. "And remember, n- "

"Not a word, I know," interrupted Ben. "You always tell me not to tell Mom anything."

"I'm sure you know exactly why." Without thinking too much about it, he leaned over and kissed Ben on the forehead.

Ben looked perplexed.

Han turned away and promptly stood up. As he began walking back towards the cockpit, he suddenly stopped and turned back. He held out his hand.

"I'll be needing that ID back."

Ben pulled it out of his vest pocket and handed it back to him. Han winked at him, and Ben gave him a lopsided smile. He was his son, all right.

Life went back to normal the next day. Ben went back to school and Han began preparing for his next trip to apply for an upcoming race in the Corellian system. They had dinner together, and Leia was on the hologram.

Soon afterwards, Ben began having dinner alone. He would have two holograms in front of him on the table, for both of his parents. But most of the time, there were no holograms at all. That was his life.

And Han still sometimes wondered if his son kept a tally of the days they were gone.

**END**


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